How can we start breaking toxic patterns in our lives?

As we discussed in the last post, “What Is A Narcissist?”, it is extremely difficult to deal with and break away from narcissists.

However, it is possible.

Many others before you have done so and many more will continue to do so.

If you are truly committed to breaking free from the narcissist in your life, then it will require a ton of learning.

It also requires you to stay patient with yourself.

There is an entire set of vocabulary dedicated just to narcissists, their behaviour, and their effect on others.

So yes, there is a lot to learn, but the pieces all tie in with one another.

The simple fact that you’re reading this blog right now is you demonstrating to yourself that you are aware that something is not quite right in your relationship with the narcissist.

Many people suffer through toxic relationships and are unable to start breaking toxic patterns in their lives simply because they’re unaware that it’s an option.

I’ll tell you this, after having breaking free from the narcissist in my life for over 7 years now, that I haven’t always been so mindful nor patient with myself.

Because at the end of the day, when you’ve moved far, far away from the narcissist, no matter how unfair it is, WE are the ones who have to deal with the trauma and chaos that the narcissist has left in our minds.

And as painful the residual suffering may be, I consider it to be a blessing in disguise.

I look back on all of the things I’ve learned as a result of having to deal with and escape from the narcissist in my life.

And I can say that, I know a helluva lot more about the topics of narcissistic abuse, trauma, psychology, personal development, mindfulness, the makings of healthy relationships, and more than the average person.

As a result, I’ve made tons of friendships with other survivors that is on a much deeper level than with others who may not be able to completely relate.

And the lessons I’ve learned have shaped me into the person I am today; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

“Thank you for showing me who I wasn’t meant to be.” – Matt Kahn

Forgive me if what I’ve written so far isn’t quite hitting on the point.

But what I’m trying to say here is, that there is a reason to stay patient with yourself if you want to start breaking toxic patterns in your life.

At the end of the day, it all comes to becoming aware of things in your nature that were ingrained in you from a very young age that keep attracting toxic people towards you.

On a deeper level, as I have just recently discovered (we’re talking the past few days here), is that being deeply mindful of staying in the present moment is the key to breaking toxic patterns that we play out in our lives.

Even if we only keep those patterns to ourselves in our minds.

I’m finally beginning to understand and realize the power of my thoughts.

And because I’ve stayed patient with myself over the years, and also due to the feedback from my loved ones and mentors, I’ve been able to finally start finding some peace within myself.

And start breaking toxic patterns in my mind.

Which I’m confident will flow over into other aspects of my life, for the better.

So, for the time being, if you aren’t already aware of the need to stay present, I highly recommend that you talk to a therapist (if you aren’t already) about how to do so.

And I also highly recommend the book, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.

You can get it in paperback, Kindle, or Audible format depending on if you’re a reader or a listener.