What if I told you that narcissists have a powerful tactic called triangulation to make you feel isolated and powerless?
Narcissists are masters at weaponizing information, turning innocent conversations into tools of manipulation.
They derive their sense of self-worth from putting others down, creating a toxic environment that can be incredibly difficult to escape.
The subtle yet devastating tactics used by narcissists can leave you feeling isolated and doubting your reality.
Stay with me as we uncover the mechanics of triangulation, its impact on victims, and practical steps you can start breaking harmful patterns in your relationships.
Narcissistic triangulation involves the narcissist using a mutual contact to manipulate and control you.
The mutual contact often doesn’t even know they’re being used in this way, making it a covert and insidious tactic.
The narcissist will start an argument with you, unleash their narcissistic rage, and within that rage, they’ll fabricate lies or misinterpretations of the mutual contact’s words to put you down.
This tactic is designed to make you feel isolated, confused, and ultimately powerless.
Narcissists lack genuine self-esteem and derive their self-worth from putting others down to make themselves look better in comparison.
This is because their sense of value does not exist within themselves.
They get a sense of superiority by dominating those around them.
Triangulation helps them feel superior and maintains their control over you.
By using mutual contacts as pawns, they can create an environment where you are constantly doubting yourself and your relationships.
Imagine a scenario where the narcissist says:
“Tom, your co-worker, told me how irresponsible you are and how you can never get anything right. Nobody at work respects you.”
Even if you have a strong, healthy relationship with Tom, the narcissist’s words are designed to sow doubt and insecurity within your mind.
This manipulation keeps you off-balance and more easily controlled.
Narcissists are adept at gathering information from mutual contacts and weaponizing it against you.
They excel at taking what they learn during conversations and corrupting it into the most vile, hurtful comments aimed at bringing you down.
The goal is to dominate and control you by making you question your own reality (also known as “gaslighting”).
For example, during a casual chat with a mutual friend, you might share something personal about your struggles at work.
The narcissist will later twist these words, saying something like:
“Sarah told me you’re really struggling at work and that everyone thinks you’re incompetent.”
This fabricated narrative isolates you from Sarah and makes you feel worthless.
Another common tactic is creating false narratives about what the mutual contact said about you.
These fabricated stories are then used to start arguments and bring you down.
The narcissist might say, “I was talking to John, and he mentioned how lazy you’ve become lately.”
Even if John never said such a thing, the lie serves its purpose—to make you doubt yourself and your relationship with John.
The effects of triangulation on victims can be devastating.
Victims often feel isolated and confused and doubt their own self-worth.
It can lead to severe emotional distress and a breakdown in trust with mutual contacts.
You may find yourself second-guessing every interaction, wondering if people are really saying these hurtful things behind your back or if it’s just another manipulation tactic by the narcissist.
Over time, this constant state of doubt and confusion can erode your self-esteem and mental health.
You might start to withdraw from social interactions altogether, fearing more manipulation or betrayal.
This isolation only serves to give the narcissist more power over you.
Recognizing the signs of triangulation is the first step in protecting yourself from this form of abuse and helping you start ending toxic patterns in your relationship. Here are some practical steps you can take:
By taking these steps, you’ll be better equipped to protect yourself from triangulation and reclaim control over your life and relationships.
Remember, knowledge is power—understanding these tactics is your first line of defence against narcissistic abuse.
Understanding narcissistic triangulation is the first step to protecting yourself from this manipulative tactic.
By recognizing these behaviours, you can start breaking toxic patterns and take back control of your life and relationships.
Knowledge empowers you to see through the lies and manipulations, allowing you to validate your own experiences and trust your instincts.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey.
Many have walked this path before you and have emerged stronger on the other side.
By arming yourself with knowledge and taking proactive steps, you can break free from the cycle of abuse and reclaim your sense of self-worth.
You’re deserving of healthy, supportive relationships, and with time and effort, you can achieve them.
Stay strong, stay informed, and take back control of your life.